Words From Andy
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It’s christmas, and you suck.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but just in case I haven’t, or you didn’t read it, I have two jobs, one is a desk job; the other is a customer service employee at a clothing store. I’m not going to name any names, but it might be named after a branch of the armed services. Anyway, working at this place means that I’m subjected to a lot of Christmas songs. And by a lot, I mean a lot. From November to January all I hear are Christmas songs. Everything from Mariah Carry to Run DMC. To be perfectly honest I’ve heard Christmas In Hollis by Run-DMC every year, for the past 5 years that I have worked there. To be perfectly honest, it’s getting kind of old. But I’m digressing, once again, from the main point I wanted to touch on in this blog entry. And so to get back on track I’m going to bring up another Christmas song that I really can’t stand. It’s Happy Christmas (war is over) by John Lennon and Yoko “the only reason they let me sing is cus I’m doing John” Ono. You know the song I’m talking about. It’s the one that when it’s playing people generally say “ugh, this song is so stupid.” And start fumbling around at the stereo controls. So why, why do I not feel the love that John felt for everyone else? Why does this hippy song not touch the deep recesses of my heart? Why do the choir of children not warm my heart? Cus the song is preachy that’s why. Nauseatingly so. Here’s the thing, around the holidays, I want to be happy. I want to spend it with my family. Even in church people are happy. And I’m catholic, we’re never happy in church. The well known catholic guilt kinda hides away for a bit and we just celebrate. Do I still know that war sucks and it’s still going on and what not? Yeah, trust me Johnny boy, your not telling me anything I don’t already know. Though what you are doing to me is torture. Torture? That’s right , torture. It’s cruel, it’s inhuman, and quite frankly, I consider it an act of war on humanity. What is this horrible, horrendous, some may even say appalling act? The song comes in, john sings the intro, and then comes the refrain of children singing. But when the children begin to sing, there is also a horrible sound that sounds what I would imagine a cat being dragged behind a snowplow would sound like. It’s hideous, and as your thinking “my god, what on earth could be making that sound?” you suddenly realize something. The sound is speaking English, not only speaking, but attempting to sing. They trained a billy goat to sing? No, not at all. It’s Yoko. Apparently John is not following his own wise words of “all you need is love,” rather fostering a new saying of “all you need is a bleeding ear canal from listening to my wife’s harpy shriek.” Another song that kind of gets to me is “Do they know it’s Christmas” by a bunch of rock musicians who sing before they think. The song is about feeding starving people in Africa, and generally in the world. Something sound kinda weird about this? It should, who ever said these people even celebrate Christmas? So I just want to take the time right now and look at a piece of the song, here it is with out my comments. And there won't be snow in Africa This Christmas time The greatest gift they'll get this year is life Where nothing ever grows No rain nor rivers flow Do they know it's Christmas time at all? Ok, first couple of line, there won’t be snow in africa this christmas time. They may not be aware of this, but africa is located in the souther hemisphear and near the equator. Parts of the contenent will never get snow, cus it’s a tropical climate. Brazil doesn’t get snow eather, they hardly seem to care. Second thing is, seeing as it is located in the souther hemisphear, it’s winters are reversed, so december the 25 is actualy the first couple of days of summer for them.

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